Overclaiming

I picked up a psychology term today: “unconscious overclaiming.” It’s certainly something I’m guilty of. “Unconscious overclaiming” is the phenomenon in which we unconsciously overestimate our contributions or skills relative to other people’s.

This makes sense, because we’re far more aware of what we do than what other people do. I complain about the time I spend cooking and doing dishes, but I overlook the time my husband spends paying bills or dealing with our cars. Also, we tend to concentrate our efforts in the areas that we think are important, so we think our contributions are the more valuable.

It’s easy to see how overclaiming can lead you to an inflated sense of your contribution, and from there, to resentment. Now that I’ve learned about unconscious overclaiming, when I find myself thinking, “I’m the only one around here who bothers to…” or “Why do I always have to be the one who…?” I can try to remind myself of all the tasks I don’t do.

In the article I was reading it discussed a survey where 80% of respondents put themselves in the top 30% of all drivers. Teehee.

Currently I am thinking of the people I know who are SO guilty of overclaiming but would never realize or admit it is something they do. Example: My daughter living at college has 3 roommates. She is constantly complaining about 2 of the girls. Based solely on my daughters recitation of events, all 3 girls (mine included) are overclaimers. "I always clean the bathroom, I always replace the water, I have never done that, You always leave your dishes in the sink". It has led to so much anger and resentment. I think, overclaiming occurs not just in acts we perform but also intelligence, spirituality, enlightenment, emotion, skill, performance, in fact, in nearly everything. It is good to have a strong sense of self but be careful not to become a self-centered, egotistical ass. ahem.

The fact remains though....

I am definitely in the top 30% of all drivers.