I think sometimes the fact that I may need comfort is overlooked by the people around me. I'm the mom after all I am supposed to be doing the comforting, right? Once, a counselor spoke to me about thinking of my emotions as a bank. If people are making withdrawals, then I have to be conscious of balancing it out with deposits. In my life, people are constantly making withdrawals but today I had many deposits made into my account and I am so grateful. It also got me thinking about where my deposits generally come from and whether I can control these deposits or if I am reliant on others for their deposits into my emotional bank. So here is the short list of comfort measures I deem necessary for my bank:
FOOD
There is food and then there is comfort food. I know my favorites. First is Beef & Noodles over mashed potatoes with a dollop of butter for good measure. The second is a tie between cinnamon toast and graham crackers with butter. The key to comfort food is that it is nourishing food served in a nurturing environment. Nearly everyone has a comfort food with the definition of "my mom used to make it when I was a kid". For me that is mom's beef & noodles. Also, most have a "this is what I always have when I am sick" comfort food. My grandma always gave us graham crackers with butter when we would be home sick from school with her. I'm not sure if there was a verifiable medicinal truth to it but with a little ginger ale I was always feeling much better by afternoon. The love and caring that accompanied those dishes is part of the lasting appeal. The last....cinnamon toast I will forever correlate with my baby brother. We weren't allowed to use the stove or microwave but the toaster was not off limits. Many a Saturday morning was passed eating cinnamon toast and watching cartoons. I think we could demolish an entire loaf of bread between the two of us and we put so much cinnamon and sugar on it that it would sag in the middle when you picked it up! Just thinking about it brings warmth to my heart. Which leads to:
MEMORIES
If you ever want to see me smile ask me to recount a story about one of my kids. Without fail, I can go through my photo albums and peace just melts through me. That alone is the reason to put together a slide show of favorite pictures. But also, as I grow older I have lost family members and my kids are moving out and away, the memories are comforting because they help me remember why that person is special and important to me.
GOD / BIBLE
When I am suffering from illness or anxiety, loneliness or despair, when hope is most elusive, the Bible serves as my source of strength. The verses affirm my faith and give me comfort. A couple of go-to verses of mine:
Jeremiah 29:11-12 (NIV)
For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you.
Matthew 5:4 (NIV)
Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted.
James 5:16 (NIV)
Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous man is powerful and effective.
AND my all time favorite verse:
Phillipians 4:6 (NIV)
Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.
MUSIC
I think everyone has an activity or hobby that gives them comfort such as running, gardening, or reading just to name a few. For me it's music. Any genre will do the trick usually. Even as I type this I am listening to Francesca. With this particular song, I am comforted by identifying with the lyrics, "Sometimes I believe that I can do anything, Yet other times I think I've got nothing good to bring". It is comforting to know others have my same thoughts and emotions to know I am not alone in my hope or misery whichever the case may be. However, I am equally uplifted by Britney Spears' Circus. Although I can sing the lyrics, "Well baby, I'm a put-on-a-show kind of girl, Don't like the backseat, gotta be first" with enough attitude you may believe I mean it it is the booty-shakin' beat of the music that makes me dance around my house increasing my serotonin which boosts my comfort and happiness.
And finally,
TOUCH
I realize just as I am writing this that touch is the only "deposit" that I can not control. This may be why I want this type of comfort over all others in times of distress. There is such thing as distal touch which means a touch to the hand or shoulder. I think this type of touch shows empathy and caring. Also, I think sitting near one another provides connection when one is feeling distant and I think holding hands is a show of affection towards one another. For me touching says "You are not alone. I am with you." No matter what my circumstance, I am comforted knowing I am not alone.
Not sure where I was really going with this post since I have been interrupted by numerous phone calls, texts, requests from a sick husband, spelling requests from the 7 year old making a get well card for said sick husband and an overall distraction caused by my overactive imagination wondering how a friend is faring in her effort to be brave this evening. I will just conclude by saying that I am happy to know that I have control over so many comfort measures. More importantly, I am overjoyed to know I have family and friends willing to make deposits for me when I am unable to take care of myself!
