I have voices in my head.
On the one hand, I am comforted because all the voices are my own but on the other, my voices talk to each other so in other words I talk to myself. Not a good sign. This happens to me a lot. I think this is why I have always tried to write. It helps to get the words out and down on paper. It quiets my mind, I guess.
Since I have gone back to work I don't blog. In addition, I have more things in any given day to talk to myself about since adding interaction with a whole slew of adults and teenagers to my daily agenda.
For example. I have a new co-worker. It is my job to train her and it is not going well. Every single day when I leave work I chat with myself about how it went and what I think worked and where I think some things may have gone wrong. Some days I will have this inner chat all evening -- while driving, cooking, cleaning, watching TV.
Another example. I have a friend. There are times when she or I will act irrationally towards the other. I will spend days discussing and dissecting every nuance of the interaction. With myself. In my head! Just to be clear. It is a real conversation. Multiple voices and perspectives. At times there can be as many as 5 me's in the debate!
The problem. My inner chat sessions are starting to bubble over. Just like a pot of boiling water after you add the noodles. You watch it boil closer and closer to the top. Bubbling, bubbling. Higher, higher. But with the pot, just before it reaches the top you can reach over and turn the stove down. Crisis averted! Not so with me. Several times in recent weeks one of my kids has said, "What? Mom, were you talking to me?" My response, "Uhhhhh, did I just say that out loud? Weird."
I'm losing control!
All this is to say....I think I am going to start blogging again.
Hello! My name is Michelle. Welcome to my conversation.
