It's a Wonderful Life!

"What a wonderful life I've had! I only wish I'd realized it sooner." --Colette.

I love this quote. I read it frequently to remind myself to count my blessings and to focus on all the positive in my life.

It hasn't been difficult to focus on the positive lately. Ariele and Hayden have done wonderfully this year in college. Ariele comes home this weekend. My littles are finishing up a great school year. The weather has been beautiful. I am eagerly anticipating summer fun. Hunter is making very positive, life changing decisions. Arty is keeping busy. We finally rented the Gardner house.

As I have pondered "attitude of gratitude" one of the realizations I have come to is that attitude affects everything. And recently I added not only does attitude affect everything but self-esteem affects attitude. Meaning:

positive self-esteem = positive attitude = gratefulness = happiness

I have been thinking about self-esteem. I have many teenagers in my house. Do you remember struggling to find your identity as a teen? It is interesting how much false bravado and pretend esteem kids exhibit. I understand it and I don't. What I want to teach my kids is you don't get healthy self-esteem from constantly telling yourself how great you are, or even from other people telling you how great you are. You get healthy self-esteem from behaving in ways that you find estimable. In other words, the best way to feel better about yourself is to do something worthy of your own respect: keep a difficult resolution, meet a challenge, solve a problem, learn a skill, cross something unpleasant off your to-do list. And one of the best ways to feel better about yourself is to help someone else. I find that when I do good -- I feel good.

As you think about this, remember that it doesn't have to be a huge commitment. It can be something really small. For instance, I derive immense satisfaction when I happen to notice trash in the street or the park and I pick it up, when I remember to use my green bags at the grocery store, when I smile at a stranger and they smile back, or I give the teenage busboy at Pizza Street a $5 tip not just because he did his job but because he was so friendly while he did it.

So try it yourself; throw away someone else's trash or say a kind word and brighten someone's day. "Do good, feel good" is a happiness truism that really is true. Act like a considerate citizen of the world, and you'll boost your self-esteem.