Challenge!

I'm right a lot. With 7 kids I get to be right. A LOT. In fact, many times even when I'm wrong I still get to be right. (I love that about parenthood.) I believe that at times I am so used to being "right" that I forget that I could actually be wrong. That is scary because I am neither that smart nor that experienced.

I will find myself making things up just to see if anyone will challenge the validity of what I am saying. I actually want to be challenged. I want someone to say, "Michelle, you are full of shit. And here are the 18 reasons why."

So, why do I want to be challenged? I started thinking about this last night. Hmm.

• I want to mix it up. Debate. Argue. I think it is stimulating. I find it stimulating in the way some people find jumping out of an airplane with a parachute stimulating. Thrilling, exciting, jumping into the unknown! Am I going to crash?? No! I know what I am talking about here! YES! The parachute has opened and I am floating gently to the ground.

• I want to learn. I feel like I stretch myself and my thinking the most when I get input from others. I especially grow when those other people don't necessarily think the way I do. Also, when I add their experiences to my own I think my knowledge expands to include their horizons.

But most of all --

• I'm tired. I'm tired of making the decisions. Sometimes, I feel like I want to say, "I don't really know what I'm doing here...you take over." I don't know what to fix for dinner, I don't know what punishment to levee for lying, I don't know what the right age is for wearing makeup, dating, having a cell phone or getting a credit/debit card. I don't know how to tell people no without hurting their feelings. I don't know if we should replace the carpet in the living room or re-tile the bathroom. I just don't freaking know.

So basically, out of laziness and the desire to abdicate my decision making responsibilities I want to be challenged. Laziness. Hmm. That sucks.